I've been doing it wrong all these years

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Richard Hargreaves
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Location: Gosport, England

I've been doing it wrong all these years

Post by Richard Hargreaves »

Instead of spending a vast personal fortune, years translating, travelling to archives, toiling over writing...

... I should have just got a ghostwriter and coined all the fecking money in.

Hot on the heels of Jordan (bestselling "author"), comes a novel from millionaire super chav Kerry. It's in the top 10 in Smith's (not a serious bookstore, to be sure, as they don't stock my book...) :shock:

Some people might be bitter... :D
No-one who speaks German could be an evil man
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Andy H
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Post by Andy H »

Hi Richard

Maybe you should go on a reality show and become a 'Personality who then becomes famous for nothing of note other than getting into fights or flashing your Y-Fronts etc. Then the lower end Red Tops and smutty gloss magazines will pay you buckets of dosh.

See you soon in Heat,Nuts or Now etc

Regards

Andy H
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

And so as I patrol in the valley of the shadow of the tricolour I must fear evil, For I am but mortal and mortals can only die
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Richard Hargreaves
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Post by Richard Hargreaves »

You can't be an hour of Jeremy Kyle to start the day. Unless you
(a) have a job
(b) have a life
(c) don't have a drug addiction
(d) have an iq over 80
No-one who speaks German could be an evil man
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Andy H
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Post by Andy H »

Sex and Swastikas sell, so you need to sex-up your tome Richard

Maybe a chapter about hot nights in a foxhole, having a big cannon isn't everything, maybe some 'swinging between the combatants, followed by some guilt counselling paragraphs, then a final chapter about returning home to find your wife has had several affairs and thus all the trouble/strife has been for nothing and then he commits suicide with a captured pistol.

Then doctor your picture so that you have a blond hair and a rather large bust and change your name to Regina Want-It. Then maybe just maybe you'll make the WHS Top Ten list :wink: :D

Regards
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

And so as I patrol in the valley of the shadow of the tricolour I must fear evil, For I am but mortal and mortals can only die
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phylo_roadking
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Post by phylo_roadking »

Any - don't take it up as a day job - that reads even WORSE than Alan Titchmarsh's!!!
"Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle." - Malcolm Reynolds
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sid guttridge
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Post by sid guttridge »

Hi Halder,

I once in the mid 1990s heard the military author John Ellis at a conference offer the title for the most saleable book. It included the words "Waffen-SS", "Diet", "Cat", "Recipe", "Workout", "Romance" and a Chinese word of your choice. I guess the author would have to be Ricky Gervais and the publisher Mills & Boon.

Cheers,

Sid.
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