To wed or not to wed?

A place for off-topic posts not related to this website. All messages are purged frequently.
Paddy Keating

Re: To wed or not to wed?

Post by Paddy Keating » Sun Jan 11, 2009 4:15 am

Paddy Keating wrote:
jerijerod wrote:I have a massive dilemma on my mind that has torn me quite superbly. I always believed that women were the bane of a man’s existence and now I have been proved right! I'm due to be wed in April this year and am having second, third, fourth and fifth thoughts!
Go with your gut feeling.
My fiancee, Sam and I have had… not a rocky relationship but we fall into ruts quite easily with the pressures of work and conflicting shifts. A lot of my friends have said that I could have done a lot of better and that I was settling for someone when I should have gone out and fought hard for someone. I never truly believed them until just before Christmas as the countdown to the wedding hit 100 days!
Your friends think it's a no-no too?
Then things got more complicated. There are four of us that hang out a lot at work, two guys and two girls and unintentionally I’ve developed quite a crush on Caroline (one of the girls) :wink: . Things have been awkward between us for quite a while and Stacey convinced me that I should just tell her and get it all out in the open, I thought if Caroline shot me down I could just clear my head and move on but she didn’t, and I’ve spent the last four days seriously contemplating what to do. I’d like to take the chance and run off with Caroline and see what would happen. But the sensible part of me says that it’s too late and that its only a passing thing and I should fight for Sam rather than do the easy thing and walk away.
Tupping an office colleague is never a good idea. Mind you, you could try and if she responds, then you will know that she is probably utterly unsuitable for wifely purposes because (a) she will have tupped an office colleague and (b) she will have tupped a well-attached office colleague. As for Sam, it sounds as if you'll be fighting with her after fighting for her.
In a way Caroline has helped me make my decision; I asked her yesterday how she felt and she said that it was unimportant, I told her it was central to the whole thing but she still declined. I’m really not going to risk my entire way of life on the off chance that she is interested in me and that she is the “Happily ever after.”
Marry a dud and it's more than your way of life that you'll be risking. It was an acceptable risk back in the days when you could have a bad wife declared insane and locked away in the loony bin.

As for Caroline, is she making herself available to you whilst telling you that your status is unimportant? You're not making yourself clear here. If so, do not believe it for a minute. There is not such thing as free sex from a man's viewpoint. There is always a price to pay. It has always been so.

This is not to suggest that one should avoid women. I am just saying that one should choose burrows for the one-eyed bed snake with the utmost care because sex is less than 10% of any relationship after the first round of playing the beast with two backs is over.

So make sure that the women you choose is someone who can become your friend for the next half-century.
Basically I am so torn up as to what to do I thought i'd ask someone who isn't close to the situation for their opinion. I am totally open to any :D :D
Go with your gut feelings. OK, so your small head is telling you to grapple with Caroline but if you break that fundamental rule of work and play, you will deserve the Play Misty For Me treatment you might get from her as soon as she realises that she didn't put out for the future area manager.

If you and Caroline do have feelings for one another, one of you will have to change jobs. I'd suggest that you tell her that if she wants your babies, she'll have to resign from the firm. If nothing else, you will find out very quickly if she is interested in you or not.

When the right girl comes along, mate, you won't need to be asking questions like this. You'll be in love! And even if you have to wait half your life or more to experience that feeling, son, never, ever, settle for second best.

Lay the pork about by all means but don't chuck your future away on some half-pretty little tail who's going to treble or quadruple her dress size as soon as she has produced a couple of pig-fat children whom she will teach to loathe and resent you as you work yourself into an early grave paying for them all.

PK

Annelie
Patron
Posts: 1317
Joined: Fri Sep 27, 2002 2:07 am
Location: North America

Re: To wed or not to wed?

Post by Annelie » Sun Jan 11, 2009 6:13 am

Lay the pork about by all means but don't chuck your future away on some half-pretty little tail who's going to treble or quadruple her dress size as soon as she has produced a couple of pig-fat children
Hey, wait a minute here! If you look around you will see just as many large men as women and I know that some men
when they marry get relaxed and treble or quadruple with body size. :wink: .....too much of the good life I suppose?
Annelie
________________________

Paddy Keating

Re: To wed or not to wed?

Post by Paddy Keating » Sun Jan 11, 2009 8:28 am

I agree entirely. There are far too many men who need a mirror to see their balls once they hit, say, thirty. Don't get me wrong. I'm not against largeness. There is a difference between a naturally large, 'comfortable' person and someone who is grotesquely obese as a result of filling their faces with junk food and not doing enough exercise, no? Some of the most energetic, alive, switched-on people I know are pretty roly=poly!

The image of the women who ensnares a man, pops a couple of children out to assure herself a comfortable old age and then pretty gives up everything except lying on the sofa in front of the TV eating is almost folkloric and to refer to it is not insulting to large people or, at least, large people who do not conform to this negative stereotype. It is a commentary on a particular kind of woman and, yes, the stereotype certainly applies to men too. I work hard to stay in shape but maybe it's because I'm too cheap to buy new clothes.

:D

PK

Annelie
Patron
Posts: 1317
Joined: Fri Sep 27, 2002 2:07 am
Location: North America

Re: To wed or not to wed?

Post by Annelie » Sun Jan 11, 2009 8:40 am

I work hard to stay in shape but maybe it's because I'm too cheap to buy new clothes.
:D just the opposite for me....I work hard to stay in shape but its because I want to be able "to
buy" new clothes and look good in them.

Would love to know what forum members do to stay in shape?

Going to open a new thread this is definitely not on topic. :wink:
Annelie
________________________

User avatar
jerijerod
Supporter
Posts: 174
Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2003 5:17 pm
Location: Kent England
Contact:

Re: To wed or not to wed?

Post by jerijerod » Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:45 am

Well... as an update.

I told sam most of the truth yesterday about marriage and how i felt about Caroline and seeing how hurt she was I realised what i was about to lose and decided i want to try and make a real go of things with her.

Then at 2am this morning she read my messages on my phone and knew the whole truth. After a 2 hour debate and discussion we're probably postponing the wedding to work on getting ourselves back on track and out of our rut.

On the downside i just told Caroline what had happened and that Sam wasn't happy me seeing her as much. She looked really crushed and hurt and there is nothing I can do. I know that someone was going to lose out but...

Still I guess thats the decission made.

Cheers guys
"War ist die Royal Air force???"

"Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you over estimate their chances!"

kanzel
Supporter
Posts: 107
Joined: Wed May 21, 2003 5:44 pm
Location: Eastern US

Re: To wed or not to wed?

Post by kanzel » Thu Apr 02, 2009 6:10 pm

Difficult to render an opinion on the little information we do have. In my 70 years I've seen couples date and live together for years only to divorce in months.

Give the following two questions some thought.

1. When you're ready to marry you'll meet the right girl?

2. When you meet the right girl you're ready to get married?

User avatar
jerijerod
Supporter
Posts: 174
Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2003 5:17 pm
Location: Kent England
Contact:

Re: To wed or not to wed?

Post by jerijerod » Fri Apr 03, 2009 12:14 am

Well i guess we'll see now. The wedding is in 9 days now.

Sam and I almost broke up but decided that the Caroline issue grew from the fact that we had grown apart from each other and that we needed to work on our relationship as niether of us wanted to leave the other and couldn't break up despite trying.

I do keep asking "if?" but then i guess thats the nature of the history student :wink:

Me and Caroline are friends again, i still like her alot but if there was anything there its not there now.

Thanks again guys... But i guess the die is cast now
"War ist die Royal Air force???"

"Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you over estimate their chances!"

Paddy Keating

Re: To wed or not to wed?

Post by Paddy Keating » Tue May 12, 2009 4:23 pm

Maybe you can help me with a poser? A couple we know recently had a baby girl. They've asked me to be her Godfather. The thing is, she is seriously ugly. Most babies look like Winston Churchill but this is Gollum's boss-eyed sister with ricketts. Should I accept and risk lumbering my wife with this medieval gargoyle should anything happen to the parents? And another problem is that she looks nothing like my mate, whose wife Sue insists that she dropped it five weeks early. If she was on schedule, my mate was in Afghanistan at the time of the conception. Should I tell my mate? She doesn't look like me either and I've been doing Sue at least once a fortnight for a year or more. So, should I just keep quiet or go on an extended trip somewhere? Or should I tell him that Sue is pulling the train for half the street?

PK

phylo_roadking
Patron
Posts: 8459
Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2005 2:41 pm

Re: To wed or not to wed?

Post by phylo_roadking » Tue May 12, 2009 5:17 pm

...and do you clear out your cache of links to this site before the missus would ever use your laptop??? :shock:
"Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle." - Malcolm Reynolds

User avatar
Tom Houlihan
Patron
Posts: 4301
Joined: Mon Sep 30, 2002 12:05 pm
Location: MI, USA
Contact:

Re: To wed or not to wed?

Post by Tom Houlihan » Tue May 12, 2009 9:53 pm

phylo_roadking wrote:...and do you clear out your cache of links to this site before the missus would ever use your laptop??? :shock:

She doesn't need. PK's mate on the next block has a better one. :shock: :roll:
TLH3
www.mapsatwar.us
Feldgrau für alle und alle für Feldgrau!

User avatar
jerijerod
Supporter
Posts: 174
Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2003 5:17 pm
Location: Kent England
Contact:

Re: To wed or not to wed?

Post by jerijerod » Mon May 18, 2009 12:15 am

I would either politly decline or take the holiday...

Definatly don't tell your mate that she's having an affair, you may get implicated and ruin your friendship or he may disbelieve you and take offence that you intimated his wife was unfaithful.

Hope this helps :D
"War ist die Royal Air force???"

"Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you over estimate their chances!"

Parsifal
New Member
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 12:09 pm

Re: To wed or not to wed?

Post by Parsifal » Mon May 18, 2009 1:21 pm

If you're that unsure about this -especially if another women is involved- then I'd say don't do it. The first years of marriage are the ones when you're supposed to be the most "in-love". But if was so easy to make your thoughts wander off to somebody else, imagine how easy it would be in a few years after being married. %E
I say you gotta be drooling for a girl to marry her. Anything else will lead to the land of take-half-my-shite.

Paddy Keating

Re: To wed or not to wed?

Post by Paddy Keating » Thu May 21, 2009 3:58 am

jerijerod wrote:I would either politly decline or take the holiday...

Definatly don't tell your mate that she's having an affair, you may get implicated and ruin your friendship or he may disbelieve you and take offence that you intimated his wife was unfaithful.

Hope this helps :D
No problem if he disbelieves me because I have the video I made when I was doing his wife. I could just show that to him or e-mail him some stills.

PK

Annelie
Patron
Posts: 1317
Joined: Fri Sep 27, 2002 2:07 am
Location: North America

Re: To wed or not to wed?

Post by Annelie » Thu May 21, 2009 4:13 am

if he disbelieves me because I have the video I made when I was doing his wife. I could just show that to him or e-mail him some stills.

Don't leave us hanging :D :D :D
Annelie
________________________

User avatar
sebastian
Contributor
Posts: 289
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2008 1:56 am
Location: belgium

Re: To wed or not to wed?

Post by sebastian » Thu May 21, 2009 4:50 am

lol,yes dont let uw wait :-)
united we stand,divided we fall

Post Reply