Go with your gut feelings. OK, so your small head is telling you to grapple with Caroline but if you break that fundamental rule of work and play, you will deserve the Play Misty For Me treatment you might get from her as soon as she realises that she didn't put out for the future area manager.Paddy Keating wrote:Go with your gut feeling.jerijerod wrote:I have a massive dilemma on my mind that has torn me quite superbly. I always believed that women were the bane of a man’s existence and now I have been proved right! I'm due to be wed in April this year and am having second, third, fourth and fifth thoughts!
Your friends think it's a no-no too?My fiancee, Sam and I have had… not a rocky relationship but we fall into ruts quite easily with the pressures of work and conflicting shifts. A lot of my friends have said that I could have done a lot of better and that I was settling for someone when I should have gone out and fought hard for someone. I never truly believed them until just before Christmas as the countdown to the wedding hit 100 days!
Tupping an office colleague is never a good idea. Mind you, you could try and if she responds, then you will know that she is probably utterly unsuitable for wifely purposes because (a) she will have tupped an office colleague and (b) she will have tupped a well-attached office colleague. As for Sam, it sounds as if you'll be fighting with her after fighting for her.Then things got more complicated. There are four of us that hang out a lot at work, two guys and two girls and unintentionally I’ve developed quite a crush on Caroline (one of the girls) . Things have been awkward between us for quite a while and Stacey convinced me that I should just tell her and get it all out in the open, I thought if Caroline shot me down I could just clear my head and move on but she didn’t, and I’ve spent the last four days seriously contemplating what to do. I’d like to take the chance and run off with Caroline and see what would happen. But the sensible part of me says that it’s too late and that its only a passing thing and I should fight for Sam rather than do the easy thing and walk away.
Marry a dud and it's more than your way of life that you'll be risking. It was an acceptable risk back in the days when you could have a bad wife declared insane and locked away in the loony bin.In a way Caroline has helped me make my decision; I asked her yesterday how she felt and she said that it was unimportant, I told her it was central to the whole thing but she still declined. I’m really not going to risk my entire way of life on the off chance that she is interested in me and that she is the “Happily ever after.”
As for Caroline, is she making herself available to you whilst telling you that your status is unimportant? You're not making yourself clear here. If so, do not believe it for a minute. There is not such thing as free sex from a man's viewpoint. There is always a price to pay. It has always been so.
This is not to suggest that one should avoid women. I am just saying that one should choose burrows for the one-eyed bed snake with the utmost care because sex is less than 10% of any relationship after the first round of playing the beast with two backs is over.
So make sure that the women you choose is someone who can become your friend for the next half-century.
Basically I am so torn up as to what to do I thought i'd ask someone who isn't close to the situation for their opinion. I am totally open to any
If you and Caroline do have feelings for one another, one of you will have to change jobs. I'd suggest that you tell her that if she wants your babies, she'll have to resign from the firm. If nothing else, you will find out very quickly if she is interested in you or not.
When the right girl comes along, mate, you won't need to be asking questions like this. You'll be in love! And even if you have to wait half your life or more to experience that feeling, son, never, ever, settle for second best.
Lay the pork about by all means but don't chuck your future away on some half-pretty little tail who's going to treble or quadruple her dress size as soon as she has produced a couple of pig-fat children whom she will teach to loathe and resent you as you work yourself into an early grave paying for them all.