Feldgrau.net

Phylo and Houlihan:
I could argue the same for Hobbits and leprechauns, how on Earth did Heini let a ball of hairs and a tiny chap clad in green into the W-SS? I knew the Reich was desperate for troops, but not THAT desperate...
Elves could be of much use at night. didn`t you think they could catch the Russians AND the Germans (there are colunteers for both sides, because Elrond kicked all Bolshevik elves and National Socialist elves out for violating Rivendell's non-belligerent status )while sleeping peacefully with the help of many a pint of beer?
As for the pointy ears, you forgot Leprechauns have them, too. not to mention Hobbits are far from having much of an Aryan complexion.
Besides, elves are immortals, not very easy to kill.
But, you are right. That's stretching imaginations beyond the borders of sanity, too much even for creative Irish with more Guinness than blood in their veins .So, I rest my case in favour of Elves.
Thanks, gentlemen, it was fun to chat with you.
Regards

PS- By the way, Where is the Commissar? I'm waiting for him to get me enlisted.

Oh, he's around, but I'm not sure if he's up to writing a Hero Tale just yet. He's in the midst of another project.

Jeez.

For the record, the S.S. 41st Elven Division performed valiantly at Chernobyl, after which they passed out of Ostfront military history.

Second, there is no solid evidence that Elrond ever banished leftist Elves. That is Capitalist propaganda! In fact, if you look closely at Elven History, you will find that after their cowardly retreat from the world of men, some Elves fought for the Republicans during the Spanish Civil War.

Now, as to a strong female lead, I'm afraid that Herr Hitler is responsible for that on the German side, as he banned all blond women from the Ostfront. Now we Soviets always emplyed women--but have you ever talked to a female tank driver? Better yet, have you ever made love to a female tank driver?

AH well, no tale is perfect.....

Bestens,
Commissar D, the EviL

(P.S. There was, of course, the 75th S.S. Troll Brigade, as the Trolls and Orcs volunteered after Rumania joined the war. Sort of Herrentrolls.)

For the record, the S.S. 41st Elven Division performed valiantly at Chernobyl, after which they passed out of Ostfront military history

Adding to their glowing reputation?

the 75th S.S. Troll Brigade

Bridging troops?

boom-boom-tisch!

Phylo, only you could take a Forum Hero Tale down to that level!!

Hi, Commissar D.
Thanks for answering. I agree Schickelgruber was responsible for my not realising my dream of being at the front.
As for Soviet tankist... No, I haven't read of anyone doing what you wrote here. Some Spaniards at another forum were drooling over some pretty females in the Red Army (snipers and tankists mostly), but said females at arms kinda made males' balls shrink a wee bit... So, it's not my fault or my fellow female soldiers that no accounts exist of conversations with Comrade tankists, much less of anyone engaging us in...er... the wild monkey dance.
Anyway, I wanna join in, please, please, please? I promise there'll be no pink tanketty or of any non-Army-standard colour... unlike some tank I know
Thanks for developing my theory about Elves further, and correcting the mistake about the leftists Elves.
Happy 2010 to everyone!

Hi Marquise, Just so you know, in this story I had intended Ursula to have a much greater role, but I got caught up in other plot lines. At one time we had Polonia as a fighter. SO surely there is no reason that you can't be a Forum Hero.
The only requirement is that you pick a suitable name and occupation for your character.

Hopefully, when my willpower returns, we will have another Forum Hero Tale.

Bestens,
David

Greetings troops!

585th Really Heavy Tank Battalion is back from R & R

...and a Happy New Year to all of you!

best regards,
Miha a.k.a. Nibelung

Nibelung wrote:585th Really Heavy Tank Battalion is back from R & R

Hey, Nibelung !!

Any chance I can get a new job with 585th ???

I might be getting a little tired of driving Herr Houlihan around ............. he always seems to be getting me lost!!

Of course he'll blame it on his driver !!

Signed:
A misunderstood Forum Hero driver !!

Shadow wrote:Any chance I can get a new job with 585th ???

What kind of a job do you have in mind? I don't want to blame it on the driver if something goes wrong.

We can start it simple...you can drive cabbage from the rear to the front, since my men often complain how the only thing that does come through is cabbage - it would really be a morale lifting experience if cabbage would get "lost"

Or am I to fast to jump into conclusion that you want to be a driver again?

best,
Hauptman "no more Sauerkraut" Nibelung of the 585th

Shadow wrote:I might be getting a little tired of driving Herr Houlihan around ............. he always seems to be getting me lost!!

Hey, it's not my fault Bataillon Stabs keeps giving me captured Russian maps! You think you can read 'em any better???

Commissar D:
Thank you, thank you. Oh, thank you! You just became my most favourite Commissar ever!
As for a name, Larissa Fedorovna Raskolnikova at your service (Lara for those who can't pronounce it without endind up breathless). The rank is that of a Starshy Leytenant in a Tanks batallion.
Leytenant Raskolnikova's origins are somewhat obscure (they'll be revealed only postwar by the KGB). But her service record is known... She wanted to be a fighter pilot, but ya know, those bleeding machines weren`t designed and built for girls with the delicate legs of a ballerina. So she was sent to sniper school, where the instructor was none other than famous Vassily Zaitsev! (for the record: he REALLY looked like Jude Law, the photos shown of him were a cunning plot by us clever Reds, so to conceal his true looks and prevent the Germans from shooting him. However, Major Koenig found out, by seducing one of the girls on our female teams -- don't worry, she's six feet under, I myself made sure of that!--, using tricks he had learnt in a Special Ops course. Vassily shot him first, such a severe blow to the Reich's morale that fascist deny it happened to this day. You can verify it in the NKVD files, Commissar. It's in the same shelf with the one in which Comrade Gagarin tells how he almost left Earth without its satellite when he saw Bormann and Mengele waving at him from the Moon! You know, the Amerikanski landing in the Moon is fake!).
Well, things got sour in the sniper's team, because that (insert least delicate way of doubting a female's morality) Chernova got jealous, and Lara was again moved, this time to tanks school. Soon I was doing the job of a driver, a gunner, and finally commanded a T-60 with an all-females crew. For a time, she also had to content herself with driving a bleeding jeep and go as an infantrywoman when her beautiful little tanketty was treacherously hit by a panzerfaust. While waiting for a new one, she vented her rage on the enemy, destroying quite a handsome number of Panzers, and also got her close combat abilities polished to such a level that a new way of fighting became popular in her company. It was simple: kick the bleeding Landsers in... er, an interesting part of their anatomy where it hurts the most, provided, of course, you ran outta ammo and bayonets. Inspired by her times as a Ballerina, the move got to be known by the other side as the "Nussknacker"... Too bad our Army hadn't got a Nussknacker Badge award.
Oh, well... That's a summary of her resume, Herr Kommissar. When can she begin?

David ist "Der Kommisar"!

The best commissar ever to grace these pages!

I hope you are still going strong Commissar EviL?

Bestens,

Jaeger

I'm still around folks, trying to work on new projects. Forgive my absence, but I am searching for an inspiration. Inspirations are harder and harder to find!!!!

Bestens,
~D, the EviL

Commissar D, the Evil wrote:I am searching for an inspiration. Inspirations are harder and harder to find!!!! ~D, the EviL

Commissar D, the Evil !!

Try putting on your scarlet red stockings with the matching open-toed, stiletto, high heels !!

Just might "inspire" you to ................

Glad to hear that you haven't fallen off the face of the earth !!

Bestens - The Shadowy One.