Jokes

Alex Coles · Post by **Alex Coles** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 12:36 pm

Post your jokes here!

Now, for the lamest joke of all :

- Why did the chicken cross the road?
- Because it was a chicken.

I need to learn some more...

Commissar D, the Evil · Thu Mar 02, 2006 4:47 pm

No Taylor Collector, I don't think a simple joke Thread is a threat to Soldatenheim's integrity. Personally, I would like to hear some WWII jokes, just out of curiosity, but unless the thread spins out of control, I don't see the harm in it.

Jason's instructions in the title of Soldatenheim are meant, IMHO, to keep Soldatenheim relevant to the theme of Feldgrau and to keep us from being mired in modern-day political and religious controversies, not to keep us from posting a harmless joke thread.

Best,
David

Jason Pipes · Post by **Jason Pipes** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 8:23 pm

Correct! Although I personally would like to see more WWII themed humor... There are some priceless ones out there, now if I could only remember the ones I have heard!

Jason Pipes · Post by **Jason Pipes** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 8:31 pm

Here are some great ones culled from my memory and those I have posted on the forums before...

======
Three generations of Germans are sitting around a table discussing matters of family importance. The discussion drifts to the heroic deeds of the youngest son during WWII made evident by his many medals and awards. The family in awe, they turn to their father who himself held many medals from WWI. They listen to his stories with facination and when finished, still in awe, they all turn to the grandfather who fought in the Franco-Prussian War. They ask about his medals and when he states he has none, there's a long pause and a very akward silence. The grandfather then interjects, "yes, but that war we won!"

======
Two German officers were talking sometime in 1944. One officer asks the other, "what do you plan to do after the war is over?" He responds "well, a nice bicycle ride around Germany sounds nice" to which the other responds "ok, and what about in the afternoon?"

======
A joke told by the German soldiers at the end of the war:

Whose plane is it?

If it's silver it must be American. If it's brown it must be British. If it's green it must be Soviet. If you can't see it you can be sure it belongs to the Luftwaffe.

DXTR · Post by **DXTR** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 5:43 am

Ok let me see if I can get these right. If they are not funny I apologize, and there is no national insult intended.....

joke 1

some years after world war two:

a group of fishermen are trawling the northsea, when suddenly a rusty conning tower breaks the surface. To the astonished fishermen a character appears in the tower.

"Meinen herren who won ze war?"

the fishermen replies: "the other side.."

the uboatman hammers his fist into the railing and lets out a yell:

"verdammtes kaiser!"

joke 2

an al quada suspect flees and runs into the californinan woods

first the US sends in the FBI

they sets up listening devices, plants informer-rabbits, but after a while they must give up, they cant find the al- Qaeda man.

then the CIA is called in. After having scoped the forrest from their sattelites they decide to call in an airstrike and burn down most of the woods... but to no avail the Al Qaeda man can't be found.

finally the LAPD gets the mission.

After a while a group of policemen appears with a badely bludgeoned bear, who sobs 'ok ok you're right I'm Bin Laden'..

regards

Alex Coles · Post by **Alex Coles** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:53 am

I don't get any of these jokes, I am too immature and young to find these funny

L. Kafka · Post by **L. Kafka** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 4:03 am

It is okay on this forum to go on about soccer matches, make that football matches, but Sherpas don't get their due. During WWII Sherpas were doing some heavy lifting. Some feldies out there may not know this.

I'll take the Sherpas any day over Manchester United or Arsenal.

haen1 · Post by **haen1** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:55 pm

A little old man shuffled slowly into the "Orange Dipper", an ice cream parlor, and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

" No," he replied, "arthritis

haen1 · Post by **haen1** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:56 pm

A little old lady is sitting on a park bench in Trailer Estates.

A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench.

After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?"

He replies, "I used to live here years ago."

"So, where were you all these years?"

"In prison," he says.

"For what did they put you in prison?"

He looks at her, and very quietly says, "I killed my wife."

"Oh," says the woman. "So you're single..."

VonderSaar · Post by **VonderSaar** » Wed Mar 08, 2006 4:13 pm

A elefant meets an camel.

The elefants says to the camel: Wow you have your tits on your back!!!!!

The camel answers anraged: This says someone who has his dick in the middle of the face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-------------------------------------------------------

Bin Laden and George are playing chess.

Who wins?

Bin Laden, Bush has two towers less....

VonderSaar · Post by **VonderSaar** » Wed Mar 08, 2006 4:51 pm

17 SS Panzer Grenadier wrote:Post your jokes here!

Now, for the lamest joke of all :

- Why did the chicken cross the road?
- Because it was a chicken.

I need to learn some more...

Thats a great one!

Helmut Von Moltke · Post by **Helmut Von Moltke** » Mon Mar 13, 2006 5:58 am

heh heh, sometimes I make jokes about my friends, when they are playing the multiplayer WWII game Day of Defeat, that they are getting sucked into the game through a cyberhole and can't get out, trapped in real 3D animation enviroment for rest of life in a historically inaccurate W-SS skin mod... heh heh, I mean until getting killed by a player from his computer.......

helmut

Tom Houlihan · Post by **Tom Houlihan** » Mon Mar 13, 2006 7:29 am

Helmut Von Moltke wrote:... heh heh, I mean until getting killed by a player from his computer.......

It's been done, Helmut! Google "TRON!"

Helmut Von Moltke · Post by **Helmut Von Moltke** » Tue Mar 14, 2006 1:27 am

Tom wrote:
Helmut Von Moltke wrote:... heh heh, I mean until getting killed by a player from his computer.......
It's been done, Helmut! Google "TRON!"

lol

Nordwest · Post by **Nordwest** » Tue Mar 14, 2006 11:32 am

Im Sommer 1934 gingen Hitler, Göring und Göbbels spazieren. Auf einer Parkbank finden sie das Brevier eines katholischen Geistlichen. Als Hitler das Buch aufschlägt, liest er auf dem Vorsatzblatt folgende Eintragungen:

1.) Gott erhalte unseren Führer Adolf Hitler.
2.) Gott erhalte unseren Ministerpräsidenten Herman Göring.
3.) Gott erhalte unseren Minister Joseph Göbbels.

"Sieh an", meint Hitler, "sogar unter dem katholischen Klerus gibt es volksbewußte Deutsche!"

Dann blättert er weiter und ließt auf der Rückseite des Blattes:

4.) Gott erhalte unseren Führer der SA Ernst Röhm.
Und darunter in roter Tinte: Am 30.06.1934 bereits erhalten!

Michael

Feldgrau.net

Jokes

Jokes

The role of Sherpas in WWII...

oldie

what ?

Re: Jokes