WWII jokes

Schrÿnen · Post by **Schrÿnen** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 2:03 pm

HHAHHAAH bloody brilliant. I can so see the true essence of those online games talk. had to take a real breather after that. pure genius :)

Dragunov · Post by **Dragunov** » Wed Sep 27, 2006 7:14 pm

another one was:

"whoever gets 5 new recruits in the Party gets to leave himself.
whoever gets 10 new recruits in the Party gets a certificate testifying he was never in himself"

i bet you whoever was caught laughing at that one was shot by the Gestapo.

cheers,
Dragunov

Bleak December · Post by **Bleak December** » Thu Sep 28, 2006 12:33 pm

Okay, I drew two cartoons regarding Adolf Hitler. The idea wouldn't get out of my head until I had them down on paper, and I don't know if sharing them is the greatest idea....

So basically, PLEASE don't view them if you get offended by this type of humor...some call it in poor taste.

At my school (and other places, for that matter), some people are pretty stupid, and when I tell them that Hitler wasn't German and was actually Austrian, they always get it confused with Australian...they sound so alike, don't they

So I created a little cartoon (one colored, the other in b&w) illustrating why Adolf Hitler was NOT Australian, and was indeed, Austrian....and that there IS a significant difference between the two.

Again, if you might get offended by humor of low quality, please do not click the links below.

<Links deleted by Tom, as they were rather less than low quality humor. The subject matter is not suitable for this forum.>

Brigadefuhrer_Grim · Post by **Brigadefuhrer_Grim** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 8:53 am

This is not a joke, but a little fun thing.

The Norwegian Nazi party during the WWII was called NS, while the Norwegian Royal Railroad is called NSB. However in the Netherlands it's the other way, the nazi party was called the NSB, and the royal railroad company, NS.

Rare crossover I think.

Also I was told about how the Norwegian city of Tönsberg was captured. Two german soldiers mounted up in a motorbike with a sidecar, and drow into the heart of the city, unmounted and shouted out: "This city is now occupied by the German Army"... My guess is that this is not a unique story, but anyway, it's a fun one.

5RANGLIAN · Post by **5RANGLIAN** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 12:51 pm

I had to teach my 2-year -old son top hold his hands up after eating, so that I could clean him up. He wasn't responding until I said, "Put your hands in the air, like a brave French soldier"....

phylo_roadking · Post by **phylo_roadking** » Fri Oct 20, 2006 6:02 pm

Two Italian sailors looking over the side of their battleship.

One starts yelling "Its a mine! Its a mine!"

The other one runs off along the deck shouting "You can-a have it!"

David W · Post by **David W** » Fri Oct 20, 2006 6:05 pm

Phylo.

That's 10 yearold's humour!

phylo_roadking · Post by **phylo_roadking** » Fri Oct 20, 2006 6:25 pm

I know! Isn't it great???

TPMM · Post by **TPMM** » Sat Oct 21, 2006 5:56 am

This is a true story:
Danemark surrendered in 1940 without even taking a seriuos fight.
After war, just before elections, one of their politicians made up an idea, how to save country's funds. He said, that instead of army, airforce, navy and intelligence Danemark should only have much cheaper radiostation. In case of war agains USSR, this one would be emitting following message in russian: "We surrender". Effect would have been the same as if they had had an army.
This politician did not get many votes during elections.

phylo_roadking · Post by **phylo_roadking** » Sat Oct 21, 2006 7:19 am

I think I remember a wartime muisc hall joke along the same lines - that they should have given Italians white uniforms so they only had to wave their hats....!

Dragunov · Post by **Dragunov** » Sat Oct 28, 2006 9:37 pm

here are some i found in "the fall of Berlin 1945" by antony beevor:

instead of 'Heil hitler! ' they greeted each other with 'bleib ürbig!'- survive

a captured landser said to his Soviet captor "Life is like a child's shirt- short and $hitty"

Dragunov · Post by **Dragunov** » Tue Oct 31, 2006 7:54 pm

another one- this time, Berliner sarcasm

town names and nicknames:

Charlottenburg- klamottenberg (heap of rubbish)
Steglitz- stehs nichts (nothing is standing)
Lichterfelde- trichterfelde (the field of craters)

from the same book

5RANGLIAN · Post by **5RANGLIAN** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 3:24 am

This one's pinched from another forum that deals with more recent conflicts:

Inter-Div morning VTC in Bosnia ...

German in Mostar " ...and yesterday we discovered a mass grave at grid ...."

Brit in Sarajevo " Helmut, was it one of theirs or one of yours ?"

Yanks in Tuzla ....stunned into silence....

German in Mostar " Its OK John, we tell the boys not to dig too deep..."

Mansal D · Post by **Mansal D** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 9:09 pm

gerhard2 wrote:The joke about air planes was used everywhere on the Western front.
Another one (in the Waffen SS), when saluting the height of our hand usually indicated our present situation. It was meant to say "so hoch ist die Scheisse".
In the last few Month the front lines were getting closer all the time, in fact I remember firing (Nebel Werfer) on Ami's in the evening and Ivan the next morning. A standing joke then when firing a Panzerfaust "watch the other front with your back blast".
And maybe the best of them all, when on May 8th or 9th 1945 with the SgtMajor on the back of my motor bike a Sherman about 100 m in front of us and a T 34 the same distance behind us I asked him "which way". His answer "just go".
Gerhard

That is one amazing story! Funny to hear it from someone who was actually there. "Just go!"

Rolf Steiner · Post by **Rolf Steiner** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:27 pm

no idea of this is the real article or not but from willi heinrich's savage mountain: 2 soldiers arguing about possibility of victory in late 44. the believer says: what about the V weapons? I hear there's a V3 in pipeline

non believer: know what V3 stands for?

believer: no

n/b: 'Voodoo, third class'