another joke

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another joke

Postby haen2 » Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:59 am

Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while one looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland .

The other woman responds proudly, 'Yes, I sure am!'

The first one says, 'So am I! And where about in Ireland are ya from ?

The other woman answers, 'I'm from St. John's , I am.'

The first one responds, 'So, am I!! And what street did you live on?'

The other woman says, 'A lovely little area it was in the west end. I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.'

The first one says, 'Faith and it's a small world. So did I! So did I! And what school did ya go to?'

The other woman answers, 'Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course.'

The first one gets really excited and says, 'And so did I. Tell me,what year did you graduate?'

The other woman answers, 'Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964.'

The first woman exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us ! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight. Can you believe it, graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 me self.'

About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down and orders a beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael, shaking his head and mutters, 'It's going to be a long night tonight.'

Michael asks, 'Why do you say that, Brian?'

Brian answers, 'The Murphy twins are drunk again.'
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Re: another joke

Postby haen2 » Sun Dec 05, 2010 3:05 pm

A blonde & her husband are lying in bed
listening to the next door neighbor's dog..
It has been in the backyard barking for hours & hours.
The blonde jumps up out of bed and says,
"I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to bed
and her husband says, "The dog is still barking,
what have you been doing?"

The blonde says,
"I put the dog in our backyard,
let's see how THEY like it!
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Re: another joke

Postby haen2 » Sun Dec 05, 2010 3:08 pm

nd another

Lynn & Judy were doing some carpenter work
on a Habitat for Humanity House.
Lynn was nailing down house siding,
would reach into her nail
pouch, pull out a nail & either toss it
over her shoulder or nail it in.

Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, '
Why are you throwing those nails away?'
Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch,
about half of them have the head on the wrong end
& I throw them away.'
Judy got completely upset & yelled,
'You moron! Those nails aren't defective!
They're for the other side of the house!'
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Re: another joke

Postby haen2 » Sun Dec 05, 2010 3:10 pm

oh well, here is another

A blonde was shopping at Target &
came across a shiny silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took
it to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos.....
It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.'

'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!'
So she bought the thermos & took it to work the next day.

Her boss saw it on her desk.
'What's that,' he asked?

'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot & cold things
cold,' she replied..

Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'

The blond replied......
'Two popsicles & some coffee.'
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Re: another joke

Postby Me-109 Jagdfleiger » Sun Dec 05, 2010 3:30 pm

Thanks for the laughs Haen :up:
Cheers Jonathan,
Only the spirit of attack borne in a brave heart will bring success to any fighter aircraft, no matter how highly developed it may be.

— General Adolf Galland, Luftwaffe.
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Re: another joke

Postby sebastian » Mon Dec 06, 2010 2:36 am

Goede moppen Haen,laat ze maar komen! :D :D

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Re: another joke

Postby haen2 » Mon Dec 06, 2010 11:27 am

OK , it's your own fault.
Here is another one:

A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad
hailstorm.. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
To a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
decided to have some fun... He told her to go home and blow into the
tail pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands & knees & started
blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little
harder, & still nothing happened.

Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you doing?' The first
blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the
tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello!
You need to roll up the windows first.'
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Re: another joke

Postby haen2 » Mon Dec 06, 2010 11:29 am

Oh boy;

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip
of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency
room doctor asked her.

'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.

'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting
off your finger?'

'No, slly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, &
then I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants...

I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'

'So then?' asked the doctor.

'Then I put the gun in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00
to get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'

'So then?'

'Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought: 'This is going to make a
loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the
trigger.
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Re: another joke

Postby haen2 » Mon Dec 06, 2010 11:32 am

The last one for today:

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.

Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'

The blonde replies,
'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
my mother had passed away.'

The boss, feeling sorry for her, says,
'Why don't you go home for the
day? Take the day off to relax & rest.'

'Thanks, but I'd be better off here.
I need to keep my mind off it &
I have the best chance of doing that here.'

The boss agrees & allows the blonde to work as usual.
A couple of hours pass & the boss decides to check on her.
He looks out from his office & sees the blonde crying hysterically...

'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.

'No!' exclaims the blonde.
'I just received a horrible call from my
sister.
Her mother died, too!'
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Re: another joke

Postby haen2 » Mon Dec 06, 2010 11:34 am

A short one for desert:

Did you hear about the two blondes
who froze to death in a drive-in movie?

They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'
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Re: another joke

Postby haen2 » Mon Dec 06, 2010 11:37 am

honestly the last one: you may have to think a little/

The Angel told Maria that she was going to have a baby, by immaculate conception.

Full of Joy she went home, and told Joseph her husband to be the good news.

He answered:

"Oy-vay Maria".
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Re: another joke

Postby sebastian » Tue Dec 07, 2010 3:12 am

hahaha,looks like you are really into blond jokes,good stuff Hean,thanks for the laughs

Groeten
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Re: another joke

Postby haen2 » Sun Apr 10, 2011 5:53 pm

OK one more:
A squadron of the American airforce, stationed in Italy,late '44, was on its way on a mission to Germany.
Taking the shortest route, the flew across Swiss Airspace.
No sooner had they crossed the boundary, or the radio came on, with the Swiss Airdefense.
"American squadron, you are violating our airspace"
They radioed back; "Yes we know"
The next message was: "ïf you don't turn back we will be forced to fire at you"
They answered: "yes we know".
"We are commencing anti air craft fire now !, last warning! ".
"Yes we know".
Next com: "Swiss air defense, you are missing us by a mile"
Answer : "Yes we know".
HN
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Re: another joke

Postby Annelie » Mon Apr 11, 2011 12:31 pm

LOL...keep them coming HaEn :up:

We need to laugh once in a while :D
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Re: another joke

Postby haen2 » Sun May 01, 2011 3:42 pm

ALWAYS LIKED THE AMISH WAY OF THINKING !!!

OK, you asked for it:

IT PAYS TO KNOW GERMAN
An Amish Farmer walking through his field notices a man drinking from his pond with his hand.
The Amish Farmer shouts: "Trinken Sie nicht das Wasser, die Kuhe und die Schweine haben hineingeschissen!"
Which means: "Don't drink the water, the cows and the pigs have @#% in it!"
The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand your gibberish. Speak English, Infidel!"
The Amish Farmer shouts back in English: "Use two hands, you'll get more!"
Hugo N.
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